Ask Sister Faithful – Should I Be Suspicious of My New Brother-in-Law?

Dear Sister Faithful:

My sister recently remarried after being single for several years.  She seems very happy in her new relationship and it looks like everything is going well.  Except that her 13-year-old daughter seems very uncomfortable around her new step-father.  Her behavior has grown increasingly out of character since he moved into their home.  As a survivor of sexual abuse myself, I am always looking for signs of anything unusual in my children and those around me.  I don’t know how to approach my sister with my suspicions.  I could be wrong, but I would rather be wrong than have my niece suffer what I went through.  What should I do?

Concerned Aunt

Dear Concerned:

While being a survivor of sexual abuse may make you more sensitive to anything that even hints at such behavior, we do live in a time where we all have to be more aware of these issues.  However, I urge you to use caution before charging in with guns blazing trying to rescue your niece.  She may not need saving.  There are a number of things that can cause a teenaged girl to have mood changes, and not to like the fact that her mother has remarried.  Make sure that you know what is really happening before making any kind of allusion to sexual impropriety.  The Scriptures caution us about making false accusations (Luke 3:14), for they can ruin relationships and lives.

Yet, despite the mercurial nature of most teenagers, neither should you discount your niece’s behavior.  Ask your sister if she has noticed changed in her daughter’s behavior and ask her what she thinks is going on.  Continue to pay close attention to your niece and be available to listen if she needs to talk to someone.  If your suspicions prove true, you must do what is necessary to ensure that your niece gets the help she needs.  Both she and your sister will need your love, prayer, and support as they deal with this extremely difficult situation.

Meditative Scriptures: Proverbs 2:2-9; Matthew 10:26; 2 Thessalonians 3:2-5

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